rein it in

Chris was here with the boys while Darren and I had our meeting, and stayed (at my request) when Darren came over to tell the kids. Afterward, he said to Darren, "You're going to get a lot of backlash for this. From family, from friends, from your church. No one is going to support this." Darren said, "I know." Chris said later, "I don't think he does." I told him that some of you have been reining it in, not allowing yourselves to tell Darren what you really think. One of you has said that if we worked this out, you would pray that God could let you forgive Darren and love him again, and that even if you couldn't do it, you would fake it for my sake. But that if he left me, you'd give him a lashing like he'd never had before.

I'm asking you to rein it in a little longer.

Ever good with the advice, Chris sent me this email today:

If you can, try and reign in your friends a bit longer. My thought is that if the worst of what he's about to go through comes mainly or firstly from your friends it could jepordize your chances of a cordial divorce. Let his family/friends get to him first and let him get started down the road of an amicable divorce before he gets shredded by those close to only you.


It's true. I need this collaborative divorce to work. Once this thing is final, you have my permission to lash out all you want. Tell him what you think. Speak hard, cold truth to him. I doubt it'll penetrate, but it might. Just please wait until we survive this process. In the meantime, simply unfriend him on Facebook to avoid the temptation.


Thank you.