I have notes in my email, via Facebook, in Words with Friends, via text message... and occasionally, I want to start compiling them here so that they're in one place. I love to read them over and over when I need them. (Today, I've read them A BUNCH.)
A few people have asked if they can share this blog with other people who they know love Darren and me and would want to be praying for us. My answer is yes. Others have asked if it's okay to post comments here. Again, yes.
But please, listen to me carefully. If I've given you this URL, it's because I trust you. I have purposefully not shared it with people who would jump to my immediate defense in ways that might lead me away from my desire to walk in God's will. I know that out of love and anger and even confusion, some of my friends would say, "You deserve better. You deserve to be happy. I will support you when you decide to leave him. I'll help you through it." I do not want that advice. Please consider that if you share the URL with others. Also, don't share it with anyone who might judge harshly or hate on Darren. He is only human, only a man, and there is so much more to him than our current struggles indicate.
I want your advice and counsel. If I'm on day three of a humdinger of a pity party, thump me on the head and call me on it! I'd do the same for you, and you know it. ;-) If I'm listening to the world and Hollywood and my own selfish desire, tell me. And if you have words of comfort or affirmation, I want to hear that, too. Feel free to post here. This blog is well-hidden. It can't be picked up by search engines, or by searching for any of my online identities (cowtown stacy, for instance). Even if you search for a specific word-for-word quote from this blog, it will not come up in a search. Or at least that's the way it's supposed to work. Crossing my fingers!
Anyway... some recent encouragement:
Oh, Stacy. I'm only sorry that I didn't know sooner. Of course I will pray. And offer advice if God leads me. But mostly pray. I'm so sorry that I never asked. I want to help you carry this burden. My heart broke when I read the blog. And I will pray specifically and fervently.
My dear, dear friend. Please don't ever feel like your burdening me. On your timeframe or mine. I want to be here for you. Hugs.
Love you,
CD
Girl - your burden is my burden. That's what friendship is. I think the blog is a fantastic idea. But I want you to know that I'm available to talk 96% of each day. I have situations (meetings and doctor's appointments) where I may be forced to text instead of talk, but I can be available most any time. I'm hesitant to keep calling and saying "how's it going now?" and bugging you, but I'd love it if you just called me up whenever you wanted to talk or pray or bounce things off me or rant and then hang up.
I will take your call any day, any time, my friend!Love,
GL
Stacy,
I've been reading your blog . . . and crying for you. It made me think of the scripture at Psalm 56:8 where David is acknowledging that God really is aware of our suffering - ". . . Do put my tears in your skin bottle." Can't you just see a tender Father capturing His daughter's tears as they run down her cheek? He carefully saves each one of them. Even that image makes my cry. He loves each of us so dearly. He knows exactly how many tears you have cried, Stacy and he will never forget them or the reasons for them. He will help you.(Psalm 145:18-19) as you already know. And it is clear that you have many friends who are eagerly reaching out to you and you to them. (Proverbs 18:24) You and your dear family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. - TH
I love you and pray that you come out of this knowing that you are worthy of love, to be loved whole heartedly, without excuses, without betrayal and without sacrificing you in the process, I have read and re-read this blog each time, whincing in sorrow and crying for you both as well as the kids. I want to wrap my arms around you and pull you through the pain. I am sorry you are going thru this.
Love you. -KK
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I'm shocked, Stacy! Simply speechless and in tears!!! I had no idea you were dealing with all this! I can't even get a handle on my emotions!!!! I ache to my core for you! I am in immediate prayer for you. I know that Darren loved you... He worshiped the ground you walk on. Don't believe anything else!!! Satan is a deceiver and he has got a grip and has had a grip on Darren if these things are true.
Lord, I pray for intervention for Stacy and Darren. I pray that you can pull this beautiful family out of despair... I know you can, Lord! In the midst of losing all hope, you are faithful! You won't let us down! In Jesus Name...Amen.
Stacy, don't give up! You have every right to but I encourage you to seek all the help Darren is asking for. You CAN trust again!!!
I love you, my friend. Thank you for trusting me enough to share and to ask for help. - GL
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I can't stop thinking of you and your marriage. I am in complete shock.
I can't even imagine going through what you're going through right now.
I have the unique perspective of only knowing the 20-somethings that got married way back in the day.
From that perspective it seems to me that Darren is kidding himself. I remember him defending you against all the churchgoers who scorned you and refused to participate in your service.
I remember the love.
Just know that I'm praying for you and your marriage.
Love you, LD
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EP: Psalm 31: 1-5
Me: How much do I love that! Thank you.
EP: It's my favorite. Love you!
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