collaborative

February 13th

Darren, 


If you decide to pursue a divorce, please talk to me before you file. I've spoken with a law office that specializes in family law. The lawyer is a Christian and sees his law practice as a type of ministry - in fact, many divorcing couples reconcile during the divorce process. He prays for his clients by name each day. His wife was on HeartQuest with me. Their office is on Camp Bowie.

They highly suggest Collaborative Divorce. It's where both spouses use separate attorneys who work together for the good of the family. It only works if both spouses also are devoted to doing what's best for the family and not getting into ugly disputes over property, custody, debt, etc. The couple has to devise a plan and be willing to stick to the plan even when things get emotional and trying. Tarrant County requires litigation, but if you go the Collaborative route, you don't have to go through litigation, which saves money and heartache. That's because a  mental health professional sits in on every meeting to mediate if needed. She calls it "divorce without war". It's an easier, healthier, faster way.

She and her husband don't believe in divorce. They know God hates it. They hate it too. They're here to help couples survive it and minister to them in the process. 

I'm not ready to file. I just wanted to find out what the process looks like. 

I do love you, and am praying for a miracle, too. (He had prayed for "a miracle" earlier that morning.)

Later, I texted him and asked if he'd gotten the email. He replied, "I did. I wasn't sure how to respond, but I read it an definitely appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I typed, "I still don't want this, but if it has to be, I'd prefer to use the good guys and do it amicably."

He said, "I would definitely want the same."

That night when he got home from band practice, he announced that he was tired and going straight to bed. I said, "Our 40 days ends tomorrow. I was hoping we could talk."
"Not tonight. I'm too tired. Tomorrow night."
"24 hours? *sigh* Ok."

Dani was there. "Dad's an idiot," she said.  I asked why. "Because he knows you won't be here tomorrow night. I'm kidnapping you for dinner, and he's in on it."